It’s the Little Thoughts That Kill
I’m writing this post against the better judgment of my wife. We (men) usually know what the outcome is when that happens, so here’s to hoping that the powerful lesson you are reminded of outweighs the wrath of a wife’s “do what you want” ultimatum. There aren’t going to be any fancy bullet points or funny jokes in this installment, hope you’re not too disappointed. This is an extremely personal story and you may even wonder why I’m sharing it. Or, you might be compelled to feel sorry for me, but please don’t, I am at peace with what happened and don’t hold a grudge against myself. The reason you’re seeing this is because we need to refocus on what’s inside, not what’s going on around us. The only thing I ask is that you make a genuine resolve to be more aware your thoughts and the understand the effects they have on your outcome.
I’m of the opinion that most of us are not in-tune with our fluttering little thoughts; forgetting that the power of our mind is one of the greatest forces in nature. Thoughts, no matter how small, often find a way to become real. And as with any weapon, if armed with negative intent, grave results are likely to occur. Negativity is a cancer – once you let it into your life it takes over. It’s contagious… when you hear someone complaining about what they don’t want or what they don’t have or why something bad happened to them, we justify it. Or worse, we join in the pessimism parade. Negativity is easy because it’s almost what we’re conditioned to be. I briefly fell into the trap when I was unhappy with my job last year and I became a victim. The focus shifted off of what I was doing to what others were doing to me. It’s not just in the mind, people… it seeps into reality and affects everyone around you.
Here’s my story that illustrates the point. About the only good news I received in the Spring of 2011 was the announcement that my wife was pregnant with our third child. Yay! Despite that, I was fighting internally with the changes going on with my employer. For the first time in my adult life, I was a victim. The fountain of positivity that I had flowing strong inside me was starting to run dry, and the process, my family also fell victim to my thoughts. I struggled mentally from the end of March, into April, and continued in my Debbie Downer ways through May and June. During that time, my wife was getting big. We’re only a couple months into the pregnancy but jeez, she looks like she’s 6 months into it. Perhaps a slight exaggeration but you get the point. The possibility of twins was presented and I started freaking out… without even knowing the facts.
“We’re cursed – of course it’s going to be twins knowing our luck”
“Three is one thing, but Four? I’m not sure if I’m ready for four, I didn’t sign up for this”
“With the way work is going, can we really afford two more kids”
Yeah, these words actually came out of my mouth… and the thoughts about not wanting twins kept popping into my head. Come July, it was judgment day. It was time to find out the sex of our baby(babies) and learn whether our twin-talk speculation was accurate. The jury deliberated and the verdict was in – Daddy was getting his first baby girl! But that baby girl got the sentence, she would never get to meet her twin brother or sister that never made it. Wow, I’m actually getting chills writing this, maybe I lied to you… maybe I’m not fully over it. I’m going to push on here as I digress – we were supposed to have twins – but my thoughts found a way to become reality and there was nothing I could do at that point but cry with my wife feeling fully responsible for that fetus not developing. I understand this is extreme example, but sometimes things need to hit you where you feel it in order to make the necessary changes in your life. I’m not saying that thinking about bad things is going to kill someone… I’m saying be careful. I wouldn’t wish this to happen to any of you, so that’s why I’m sharing this story. Too often we make the mistake of forgetting that the universe is at our control and our thoughts create the outcome. I will not make the same mistake again and I hope you come away with a new resolve to not let negative little thoughts infringe on your life.